I woke up today with sense of calmness especially after spending time Friday with grandchildren and an unusual shopping time with my daughter Sarah. I wanted her opinion on options of sprucing up the kitchen. There was no huge ticking of the clock. With a busy family, errands, and work the gift of time was much valued. Time with my friends and family is always a gift. Conflicts or differing views, differing ideas seem to not cloud the core of love, connectedness and those things we have in common. In this present time, we have all been trying to re-define life while still clinging to life before Covid-19 and figuring out life as we move forward. Other than groceries or other necessities, I had not, until today, entered a store and it will be rare for now. Yet with “best practices” and of course, a mask we distanced and followed the protocol. I hope that we continue to see the bigger picture that this has put the brakes on a moving world and now will be defined over time the evolution of post Covid-19.
Meanwhile, moments of the everyday will be defined by our attitude. Although we are individuals, we are also a nation (and world) either denying the truth of science and resisting doing our part to protect each other or accepting it is what will also put us back on track. The doctors and researchers who have been behind the scenes working to learn about this new virus and find solutions were in the process before most of us grasped the urgency. Our attitudes of America should be of unity and caring rather than divisive attitudes as though we operate as a unit of 1. That, in reality, has never been true. WE will survive together and have hope.
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I wonder the exact time I realized the bundled-up package of so many messages from her would teach so much and yet it is time that allows perspective to see the threads running through life. I heard such advice as, “if you marry someone and you are smarter, you make him think it is his idea” or “You treat your family like company and your company like family” with the follow-up that “After 3-4 days, company becomes camp-ny”. Within that human package is also the woman who taught Sunday school, had a bible reading and prayer every night before bed time, said her nightly prayers on her knees and woke us with a smile each day we were at her house. She thought women could not and/or should not teach men or even young boys in Sunday School. She definitely didn’t think they should be preachers. She was a working woman and adapted to a husbands’ schedule of shift work. This traditional, evangelical woman and I could debate those beliefs or Ideas about life and I was emerging with different thoughts on some issues. One major saying she had was, “I won’t meddle in your life but if you ask my opinion I will give it to you truthfully.”
I look back and see she was one of the first “Super Woman” in my life. She worked, had food, cooked from scratch most of the time for her family and at times that would fit her husband’s schedule. She hummed in the kitchen for she loved to cook. She worked full time most of the time I can remember, she taught Sunday school, went to events that involved her children, took care to stay in touch with family and friends. All the daily chores are a given. I loved her and I watched in growing up that she, being the “hub’ of the household, didn’t always get the respect deserved. She hardly sat when we gathered because no one seemed to be able to get their own fork if they were found wanting. She was great at her job in a bank and later at the county courthouse yet was passed over for promotions by some who were less knowledgeable and male. She was appreciated for being an amazing Sunday school teacher but no one seemed to know she was scholarly of the Bible within her faith. She knew more about “scripture” than most preachers visible only with worn pages in her personal Bible and personal notes. Yet not many and probably no man in the church would know that. She actually taught me about feminism all my life by just watching the contrasts and contradictions in life. I learned unconditional love and I knew she prayed for me every night. I often wondered if born in my time where would that strong spirit have ventured. I look at the window and what do I see?
A spotted dog looking at Nathaniel, Sawyer and me. Spotted dog we look to see if you are there Wishing you could play rather than just stare. Oh! But spotted dog, today you were not in place! Instead there was a big furry cat washing its face! |
Jillian Porter
Front Porch musings from a down South girl. The Southern Front Porch The porches in the south were both a welcome mat and a place to spend two hours saying goodbye after the announcement of “Its time to go!” I grew up watching my elders interact with their friends and family and I noticed Archives
December 2020
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