I wonder the exact time I realized the bundled-up package of so many messages from her would teach so much and yet it is time that allows perspective to see the threads running through life. I heard such advice as, “if you marry someone and you are smarter, you make him think it is his idea” or “You treat your family like company and your company like family” with the follow-up that “After 3-4 days, company becomes camp-ny”. Within that human package is also the woman who taught Sunday school, had a bible reading and prayer every night before bed time, said her nightly prayers on her knees and woke us with a smile each day we were at her house. She thought women could not and/or should not teach men or even young boys in Sunday School. She definitely didn’t think they should be preachers. She was a working woman and adapted to a husbands’ schedule of shift work. This traditional, evangelical woman and I could debate those beliefs or Ideas about life and I was emerging with different thoughts on some issues. One major saying she had was, “I won’t meddle in your life but if you ask my opinion I will give it to you truthfully.”
I look back and see she was one of the first “Super Woman” in my life. She worked, had food, cooked from scratch most of the time for her family and at times that would fit her husband’s schedule. She hummed in the kitchen for she loved to cook. She worked full time most of the time I can remember, she taught Sunday school, went to events that involved her children, took care to stay in touch with family and friends. All the daily chores are a given. I loved her and I watched in growing up that she, being the “hub’ of the household, didn’t always get the respect deserved. She hardly sat when we gathered because no one seemed to be able to get their own fork if they were found wanting. She was great at her job in a bank and later at the county courthouse yet was passed over for promotions by some who were less knowledgeable and male. She was appreciated for being an amazing Sunday school teacher but no one seemed to know she was scholarly of the Bible within her faith. She knew more about “scripture” than most preachers visible only with worn pages in her personal Bible and personal notes. Yet not many and probably no man in the church would know that. She actually taught me about feminism all my life by just watching the contrasts and contradictions in life. I learned unconditional love and I knew she prayed for me every night. I often wondered if born in my time where would that strong spirit have ventured.
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Jillian Porter
Front Porch musings from a down South girl. The Southern Front Porch The porches in the south were both a welcome mat and a place to spend two hours saying goodbye after the announcement of “Its time to go!” I grew up watching my elders interact with their friends and family and I noticed Archives
December 2020
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